Have you heard from Officer Byrd?

What is it about talking animals that they always use their magical gift only to hop up on the damn soapbox?
Woodsy, Smokey, even the citified types like Officer McGruff – no matter the species, the message is the same
“Do this and don’t do that!”
When you start thinking about it, it makes you grateful that the majority of animals can’t talk, because you can bet if they did, they’d suddenly be the authority on everything. Even So. Cal favorite, good ole’ Officer Byrd and that Mike guy he ran with were constantly pontificating.
Sure he seems like a fun loving macaw – he skates, cycles, races his car around – but he’s not at it for two minutes before he rolls up and seizes the opportunity to regulate on some poor kid just trying to have a good time.

"That’s the word from Officer Byrd, that’s his tip for today".

Gee thanks, Officer Byrd.

Time Management With Tawny

Its true that training for a big swim requires an incredible amount of your time. People often ask me, "Tawny, how do you manage to juggle your training in addition to the day to day demands of commuting, working full time, blogging - all while keeping your new husband and a dog happy and healthy?"

While women's magazines abound with useless scoops on how starlets juggle their families (and accompanying army of nannies) with their career and incredible wealth, no one bothers with how the REAL women pull it off.


Well, look no further, ladies.


In an exclusive scoop with my own blog, I give you:


Time Management With Tawny.

First off, every REAL woman knows just how time consuming keeping house can be.
Whole Saturdays lost stuffing crap into closets and vacuuming before the company arrives.

How inefficient! Let me take you on a tour of my apartment and show you how you too can effectively streamline domestic bliss.

The Kitchen:

We all know most women waste countless hours cooking meals for their family, with a sink full of dishes as their only reward. Well ladies, I ask you: why?

If dishes are to await you regardless, its best to recognize this for what it is: FUTILITY!

But don't despair, I offer you an easy and effective alternative that anyone can try!





Just leave them in the sink!


Why, I find that if I leave enough dishes in the sink, my husband even starts reusing the water glass by his bedside - that's not just efficient, its environmental!


Let's move on to the bedroom:

Most women waste countless tedious hours putting away laundry, when they know very well its only going to be worn and put back in the hamper only to be washed again. Not I!

By leaving the clean laundry in the laundry bag, not only do I save time by not putting it away, I no longer have to bother trying to remember which drawer I put it in.

Now that's what I call using your head!





Lastly, its time to get real about the time demands of pet ownership. Now ladies, get ready. This is where I revolutionize your every day life and save you tons of time for your athletic pursuits:

Why waste tons of time walking your dog all over the neighborhood, when you could drive your four-legged friend? Everyone knows driving is quicker than walking! It couldn't be simpler!

Baby's First Blog

Let's start this off with an apology: Sorry it took me so long.

No really, I mean it.

How could I think you'd be satisfied merely listening to me talk about myself all the time?

Not to worry baby, those days are done.

Its blog time.